I know it has been a few days since the last post and I apologize. It has been a hectic few days. Therefore I think a Junk Drawer Cleanout is in order.

Junk drawer emptied

Okay stop the presses. I don’t have a clue how I missed this before, but it is right up my alley and one of the funniest things ever. If you don’t get it you don’t have kids.

Utah Jazz:

Inonsistancy, thy name is Jazz.

Jazz New Team Photo

The Jazz went 2-2 on their road trip this week. They lost the two games that should have been the easiest while winning the two games that were the hardest.

1. We lost the first game to Chicago. We had fresh legs and Chicago is not a very good team this year. They have a losing record and most likely won’t even make the playoffs in the east. We let them get an early lead and waited until the end to try to win it. Unfortunately by that time, they had the confidence they needed to put us away.

2. We beat the Milwaukee Bucks. This was the second night of a back-to-back and the Bucks are a better team than Chicago this year. I guess that we were ticked off about losing the night before though, because we came out strong and put them away in the fourth quarter after they tried to make a comeback.

3. We beat Boston. This was supposed to be the toughest game on the trip. The Celtics have the best record in the league and they had only lost 5 games at home all year. But this is the game our guys were geared up for and we blasted the Celtics for their worst loss of the year. Man was I on a high after this game.
Deron beats Celtics

4. But the high was short lived because we lost to the Nets by one basket the next night. Now this was the fourth game in 5 nights so it was understandable that our energy let down a bit in the fourth, but this is a Net’s team that has a losing record in the east and lost their hall of fame point guard via trade just a month ago.
Utah looses to Nets

So why the distress? This is the tightest playoff contest the western conference has ever seen. Only five games seperate First place from 8th place. We are sitting currently in the fourth spot because we are winning our division but the two teams below us in the ranking actually have a better record than us.

If the playoffs started today, we would face the Spurs who we haven’t beat on the road in like ten years and they would have home court advantage in the first round. THat would be bad. Our guys need to step it up and win home court advantage in that first round if we want to advance anywhere in the playoffs this year.

The sad thing is that I think our team would be a title contender if not for our inconsistant road play. This season we have the best overall team we have had since the last time the Jazz went to the NBA finals. We can beat any team in the NBA quite handily on any given night. We almost never lose at home, (Only three losses at home this season.) but we have a bad road record. (16-21)

Rifftrax:

This last month has been a bit slow for Rifftrax. They put out a bunch of shorts and did some political ad parodies (You can see some of them on my site Here and Here). But a full Rifftrax has been missing.

(BTW the shorts that they have been releasing on Rifftrax.com for .99 cents each are absolutely hilarous. Best money you will spend.)

Well tomorrow the first new Rifftrax in a month will be released.

Beowulf Rifftrax

I saw Beowulf for the first time last week and boy did I have mixed feelings about that flick. I will put a full review of both the movie and the Rifftrax of the movie later this week.

MISC:

NEVER GET AN ADJUSTIBLE RATE MORTGAGE.

Just a heads up.

If I could I would rip that ARM off and hang it over my mantle as a trophy just like Beowulf did to Grendel.

MSTK:

Giant Gila Monster single disk

With it being a slow Rifftrax month I have been watching a lot of the old MST3K episodes again and here are two quick reviews for you.

First of all in an odd kind of situation, Rhino put out it’s last set of MST3K episodes (Volume 10) before the rights to the show switched to a new label (Shoutfactory). In a screw up, they included the classic episode Godzilla VS Megalon. Unfortunately, they did not have the rights to release that movie, so they put out a replacement disk. It is one of my favorite all time episodes, The Giant Gila Monster.

The great thing is that you can order it individually for a limited time for like 8.00. Just click on the link above if you are interested. (I don’t get any money if you do, this is just sharing something cool.) Once they sell out, it will be gone. Who knows when or if that episode will ever be released on DVD again.

The Giant Gila Monster

Man this is one of the best Joel episodes. One of my favorite bits is that they notice that the director always told the actors to put put their legs up on things while they talk to make it look more casual. So whenever one of the characters enter a room, Joel and the bots are guessing when they will put their leg up. This has me laughing every time.

Gila Monster Knee up

One of my favorite scenes is when a Cop and a kid come across an abandoned suitcase on the side of the road left by a hitch hiker that the gila monster ate and Joel says, “Why a smart feller could put a leg up on something like that.”

Last night I watched one I hadn’t seen before called The Starfighters

MSTK Starfighters

This one is a Mike episode and I found it hilarious all the way through. This film was made in conjunction with the US Airforce using tons of real fighter plane footage from peace time. (I’m guessing this was done as sort of a movie length commercial for the Air Force.) It is a story about some new pilots going through training to learn how to fly the “Starfighter”. It’s kind of like Top Gun but there are no enemy planes to shoot at.

Evidently this episode is famous for the looong refueling sequences as seen in the beginning of the video below: (If the following videos aren’t working for you just refresh and click the center of them to go directly to the Youtube video. I don’t know why the link doesn’t work some times.)

Did you notice the 60’s era elevator music? Well it goes on whenever they are flying.

Later in a host segment, Tom and Crow recreate the refueling sequence while crow is on hold with customer service trying go get connected to the internet. (This segment is as shocking as it is funny.) I almost died laughing. It is at the beginning of the video below:

Overall this is one of the best Mike episodes. As lame and uneventful as the film is, the riffing is top notch. I will leave you with the “United Servo Academy Men’s Chorus Hymn”. What I love about this is that Kevin Murphy sang all the parts himself. He is so talented. This is brilliant:

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