If you look at the world today and see all the reckless irresponsibility, you can pin it all down on one thing. There is just not enough spanking going on.

Spanking Douglass

Kids today often go about with the idea that there are no reprecussions for their actions. They are taught at a young age that the worst they will get for their wrong doings is a good talking to.

As they get older the parents move from time outs to groundings, but it doesn’t take a willful teen long to realize that if they ignore their grounding the worst that they will get is a talking to. And if they ignore additional groundings and/or talking to’s the parent has lost all control of their child. Once a parent has no control over their child, the child has no reason to listen to anything they say.

Belt for spanking

Now when I am talking about spanking I refer to punishment delivered by repeated strikes to the buttocks (Or booty if you prefer). Most often these would be delivered by the open hand, though sometimes a belt or switch could be used.

In days of old, teachers, pastors(shudder), neighbors, or any upstanding adult could deliver a spanking to an unruly child. And when the child complained to their parent, they would just be told “You got what you deserved.”

Spanking paddle

Don’t get me wrong. I am not advocating a return to those days. I wouldn’t particularly like it if my kid’s teachers spanked them. There is too much opportunity for dicipline to become abuse. I agree that the physical discipline of children should be left to the parents. But these days parents are looked down upon with derision or even horror for spanking their kids. In fact, there are constantly bills being presented to government to outlaw spanking.

There was a day when if you were at the store and your kid threw a fit, you took them over your knee and spanked them right in the aisle. Now if a kid throws a fit you have to put up with it, maybe lean in and threaten them with future harm so quietly that no one else hears you. Because if you did spank that child, there might be three or four empty-headed busybodies on their cell phones calling child protective services. At the least you would get looks of scorn or derision, or pure hatred.

Hillary scowl for spanking

As a result of this atmosphere, here is the typical situation you run into at your local Walmart:

Child: “Waaaaaah I want cookie! Waaaaaaah!”

Empty-headed mom: “Now you know you are on a gluten free diet.”

Child: *Sprawls on the aisle floor kicking his feet* “Waaaaahhhhh! Cookie now!!!”

Empty-headed mom: “Please junior stop.”

Child: *knocks food off of shelf onto the floor* “No!! I want cookie!!! Stupid mom!!”

Empty-headed mom: “But junior-”

Child: “Stupid mom! Stupid Mom! I hate you! Give me cookie!!!!”

Empty-headed mom:
“Now that’s not polite.”

Empty-headed busybody #1: “Oh, I would be happy to buy this boy a cookie if you can’t afford it.”

Empty-headed busybody #2: “You know I read a good book on parenting . . .”

Me: “Spank the kid!”

Double Spanking

We have all seen this scene or one similar to some degree or worse. Why does this happen? First the kid does not respect their parent. At home, the Mom can put the child in time out or turn the TV off for a few hours. In the store, she is utterly defenseless and does not know how to handle the situation. So the kid steamrolls her and the onlookers stupidly try to step in and end her torment.

This child never learned discipline. He never learned that his behavior had consequences. His parents thought that if they just showed him enough love, that they would have his respect. Well children enjoy being shown love, but they also enjoy getting what they want.

What happens to kids that grow up without discipline?

Paris Hilton Needs a Spanking

Don’t let this be your kid.

Now you might be wondering how Edgewriter disciplines his kids. You might even picture me as a howling red-faced child-beating demon. But that is far from the case. My spankings are delivered hand to booty. Some times bare booty some times not, depending on the severity of the offense.

I have four kids and one is far too small (And cute) for such things. I have found that with their different personalities, some respond to spankings, some don’t.

My oldest will be like, “*Sigh* OK” and turn over meekly for her spanking. But she freaks out if sent to her room. So spankings don’t work for her. The boys however take spankings very seriously. If a spanking is threatened, they shape up quick. So the end result is that I rarely have to spank my kids.

Levar loves Spankings

Our trips to Walmart go like this:

Child: “I want a cookie.”

Me: “Not today.”

Child: “Awwww. Please?”

Me: “Nope”

Child: *Sigh*

So in the spirit of discipline, I have come up with a list of people that should have received more spankings. As a spanking advocate, I would also suggest that a nice public spanking would be a good learning tool even at their current ages. I will also suggest the proper instrument with which to administer the spanking. All are bare booty spankings unless otherwise noted.

1. Paris Hilton – With bare open hand delivered by her father (It’s been a long time coming.) In the center of Madison Square Garden before a crowd of thousands.

2. Crispin Glover – With belt delivered by Steven Spielberg on the set of the David Letterman show.

3. Brad Pitt – With cricket bat delivered by Jennifer Aniston on the set of Oprah.

Spanking with Cricket bat

4. Bill Clinton – With yard stick delivered by Hillary Clinton at live press conference. (She would win the presidency if that happened.)

5. Hillary Clinton – With bare hand delivered by Bill Clinton on covered booty to save the public from seeing Hillary’s wrinkled old booty. On Today show.

6. Nicole Richie – With bare hand delivered by Lionel Richie on his newest album cover.

7. Tom Cruise – With lightning bolts delivered by the ghost of L. Ron Hubbard in front of Will Smith for good measure.

8. Jimmy Swaggart – Delivered by the hand of God at judgment day before the heavenly hosts.

Swaggart after spanking

If you guys think of any more, list them in the comments section. If we get enough, maybe I will start a new page just for this.