Archive for April, 2008

Videolink crazytime

Everyone, I am sorry that my posts have been so far between lately. Work and family life are so hectic right now. But I can’t let you down. Time for a Videolink crazytime special.

This first one is a huge childrens anime craze in Japan right now.

The Bottom Biting Bug!

Here is a special live performance.

If you thought our kids were mind-numbed by todays kid’s shows here in America, here is a sample of what the regular Bottom Biting Bug show is like


If you don’t know what Rifftrax is, I told y’all all about it HERE.
Here is the sample video of the Spiderman 3 Rifftrax. You can order the whole thing here:

Oh and for those of you Rifftraxian newbies, here is Mike Nelson’s favorite kids song and constant Rifftrax inside joke, Schnappi.

BTW the next Rifftrax coming out 4/22 is Cloverfield.

Rifftrax Cloverfield

I haven’t seen the movie yet and it comes out on DVD the day the Rifftrax is released so fun time all around next week. Here is the information from

“”What if a monster attacked a city?” This is the shockingly novel concept behind the viral marketing triumph of the year! Filled with “fresh”* performances and “authentic”** cinematography, Cloverfield masterfully takes a page from The Blair Witch Project, reworking the “snotty 20-somethings endure trauma while repeatedly saying ‘dude'” genre into something unique while still being very much the same. Look for star turns by That Girl Who Was in Mean Girls and That One Dude Who Played Eric in The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.

Mike, Kevin and Bill’s RiffTrax was found by the Department of Defense (and then thrown away, but we dug it out of a garbage can.)

*Not very good.

**Not good at all.”

Cool stuff:

The Big Dog robotic Army mule.

This thing rules


It already has parodies:

It is amazing what a kid can do with a personal computer these days.

Slow motion water balloon attack. Cool ad.

The aftermath of a war in candyland.

I love this Robot.

Several People making their own Transformers:

Oh and just in case you didn’t get enough last time, Experience more of the love that is inside Peter Lemongello:

And now older and more experienced, Lemongello will satisfy you in many new and different ways.

No . . . Thank you.

(even if he did get a little William Shatnery)


Since the Playoffs start this weekend and the Jazz are going to win the championship this year, I would be remiss if I didn’t link to this guy’s great highlight videos.

Those are required viewing for those of you who don’t realize why your team is about to be destroyed in the playoffs this year.

Oh, and-


My Toilet Paper Rant

Toilet paper shoe

Most of us don’t think too much about toilet paper. Often because of what we use it for, people see it as a crude thing to talk about. But it is something that impacts our daily lives. And there are some unfortunate developments lately that need to be addressed.

One of my favorite writers, Mr. Orson Scott Card wrote an in depth article several years ago detailing the common issues with toilet paper several years ago. I have never felt the need to add to his fantastic work in this article.

Until now.

I have been a Charmin guy for years. Their two-ply big rolls were all I ever bought. They were soft enough that your booty hole was unharmed and tough enough that your finger rarely punched through.

But recently Charmin decided that keeping people’s butts clean wasn’t enough. They needed to clog as many toilets as possible. They like tripled the thickness of their toilet paper and now call it Charmin Ultra. They don’t even make the regular Charmin anymore.

It’s like they were watching their own commercials and said to themselves, “You know what? This is false advertizing.”

“We need to triple the thickness of our toilet paper if we really want to be able to say a bear could wipe his booty with this. I mean think about it. The bear has claws. With our regular toilet paper he would pierce right through. And with all that hair, he would get one heck of a pile of dingleberries.”

Well, sorry Charmin. I don’t have the butt of a bear. My fingers aren’t tipped with claws. My butt hole was doing just fine, thank you very much. Did you get bought out by a plunger making company or something?

The new Charmin is so thick, it is hard to tell when you are clean. So you end up using more. And since the size of the roll is the same, there is less useable paper on the roll.

Their new slogan should go. “Charmin. Like wipping your butt with a pillow. Now try to flush that pillow.”

So I stopped buying Charmin. What is left? Scott brand?
Scott toilet paper
“Scott Toilet Paper: For cheap people who hate their butt holes.”

No thanks. I’ll get my fill of Scott brand next time I have to take a dump at a gas station. I didn’t know enough about the other brands to waste my money on them and try them all out. Fortunately our good pal Orson Scott Card came up with another option in a recent article.

Cottonelle works pretty good. It has a similar strength and softness as the original charmin. And it is cheaper than the old Charmin. So unbluckle em boys and let loose. There is a new toilet paper in town!

If you have any of that crappy (pun) toilet paper left, just feed it to your cat. After all, cats love toilet paper.

JDC5: The Awakening

Ok, folks. Time for a Junk Drawer Cleanout!!

Junkedy junk

My new short story is in the works. But for now all I can tell you is that it is Bowl of Souls related and that it will concern one of the mysterious characters peripheral to the story. Those of you that have read the book will recognize this character right away.


Two items of note.

1. We have a stupid cat

Yukie Wet

Our black and white cat Yukie has recently decided that she wants to climb to the top of our chimney . . . . from the inside.

I first discovered this when my daughter brought in our black and white cat looking completely black. She was covered in soot. At the time I thought that she had just been laying around in the fireplace, but then it happened again. Mrs. Edge was the one that figured out that the stupid cat could see light in the chimney from inside the fireplace. She was trying to climb up and out.

This morning Mrs. Edge was sitting there when the cat fell out of the chimney. Needless to say, Yukie has gotten a lot of baths lately. Doesn’t she look embarrassed?

Wet cat 2

#2. My baby is still cuter.

I have told you again and again. I even made you a challenge. But for those of you that still don’t believe here is even more evidence. My baby is cuter.

baby dollar

Her hair has been wild and wispy lately. She has never lost the thick hair she was born with, though it has lightened some. So we decided to try and curl it to see what would happen.

Happy baby dollar with curlers

She actually seemed to enjoy having the curlers in her hair, which I thought was weird.

Baby with curlers

At any rate, when we took the curlers out, her hair looked like Gene Wilder’s on a windy day. So we ended up wetting it down and combing it out. But even with crazy Gene Wilder hair, she was cuter.

Regarding WordPress:

In the middle of writing this article last night, WordPress bogged down big time. When I finally got it up and working everything had changed on me. The interface for writing and my dashboard and everything is completely different.

It also screwed with the pictures I had uploaded. So I had to wait until this morning to publish this. It actually looks like an improvement over the old interface though. I’ll just have to get used to it.

The Utah Jazz:


What a fantastic game last night. The Jazz gave the Spurs a beat down. The first half looked a bit hairy, but the Jazz hung in there despite shooting a crappy 37%. Boozer hit a big shot at the buzzer to give us a 2 point lead going into the half.

Memo Looking graceful as usual.

Then in the second half, we caught on fire, both offensively and defensively. We held the spurs to their lowest point total in franchise history and won 90-64.

Boozer and Deron played great, but the two real heroes in the game were Memo and AK. Memo had 17 point sand 16 Rebounds while AK had 10 points, 6 assists, 5 rebounds, 3 steals and a blocked shot. AK was truly everywhere. If only he can keep that up, we could win the championship this year.

There are only 5 games left in the season before the playoffs start. We only need to win one more to clinch a playoff spot. All 5 games are against tough teams.

Spurs watching from the bench where they belong.


The new Rifftrax was just announced. They are riffing Spiderman 3 with guest riffer James Lileks.

Spiderman 3 Rifftrax

I am not too familliar with James Lileks. His website is HERE and evidently his blog is a hit. Also he has a radio show in Minnesota. All I know is the the guys at Rifftrax say he is hilarious and that is good enough for me.

As far as Spiderman 3 goes, I have to admit that I haven’t seen it yet. I own the movie, but have never watched it. I liked Spiderman one and Spiderman 2 was really good, so I am looking forward to watching it both riffed and unriffed.

I will do a Spiderman post as part of my Superhero Movies series some time next week and tell you how it went.

In the meantime, here is a clip from the Rifftrax of Beowulf.

Oh, and before you go, you must have some Bacon.

Vodpod videos no longer available. from posted with vodpod