Eating just 3000 calories a day increases cell growth, tissue generation, study says

Glen Simmons-Staves Associated Press 

3000 - 5000 Calorie per day diet is good.

Having your kids eat 3000 to 5000 calories a day could be the key to increasing their aging processes and in turn allowing your kids to stay home alone sooner, according to a new study.

MONDAY, July 14 (PediaDay News) – Having your kids eat 3000 to 5000 calories a day could be the key to increasing their aging processes and in turn allowing your kids to stay home alone sooner, according to a new study.

Studies have long shown that adding calories increases the aging process in goats and fish.  A popular theory is that more daily calories increases production of the thyroid hormone triiodothyronine (T3), which then increases maturity in your children.  Your children will be making dinner and driving you to the mall in no time, Dr. Pablo VanNostren says,  head of pediatrics at St. St. Claries Medical Center in Stenton, NJ.

Your children will be making dinner and driving you to the mall in no time, Dr. Pablo VanNostren says,  head of pediatrics at St. St. Claries Medical Center in Stenton, NJ.

Your children will be making dinner and driving you to the mall in no time, Dr. Pablo VanNostren says, head of pediatrics at St. St. Claries Medical Center in Stenton, NJ.

 
A new study, by VanNostren found this hormone increase occurs when humans regularly add rich desserts or even just substitute two chocolate chip muffins in place of a turkey sandwich and a salad.   “Maybe they could polish off the sandwich and salad later as long as they are careful to add double ranch dressing,” VanNosren added.

 

 

 

 

 

“Our research provides evidence that calorie enhancement does work in children like it has been shown to work in animals,” VanNostren said in a prepared statement. “The next step is to determine if this in fact can help a young boy to grow a mustache, or a little girl to be able to explain to her mother why she should use environmentally safe household cleansers.  The reason why I’m so certain is that I’ve tried it on my children.  I can attest that my three-year old son recently spanked his mother and sent her to her room for forgetting to mop the floor last Sunday.”   

The findings, published in the July 2008 issue of The Mature Child, are based on a study of healthy but active, non-smoking, 5 to 6-year-old boys and post pre-school age girls under the age of 8.  For a year, the volunteers participated in either: a calorie-addition group that increased their daily calorie intake by 3000 to 5000 calories per day; a group that stayed on their regular diet and exercised regularly; or a group that maintained its normal routine.

While those in the calorie-addition diet and exercise groups both lost body fat mass, only those in the calorie addition group also had an increased desire to read the front page of the newspaper.

“There is plenty of evidence the calorie addition can increase maturity in children,” VanNostren said. “And parents will live a much easier life because of it.”

VanNostren warned that while adding calories to your children may gain a little weight, but the benefits clearly “outweigh” the side effects.   

The key to maintaining a healthy lifestyle for the adults, VanNostren said, is keeping your young children doing things for you that you don’t want to do yourself.   

My three-year old son recently spanked his mother and sent her to her room for forgetting to mop the floor last Sunday.”

My three-year old son recently spanked his mother and sent her to her room for forgetting to mop the floor last Sunday.”

 

 

 

 

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