Category: Family


baby3.jpg

I got some new pictures today and sorry folks, but she is still cuter.

Click Here to see my first article on the subject.

It’s a sad thing that some babies are born cute while others are . . . . not. For instance:

Ugly baby

But most babies are not that ugly. Some are just yada-yada babies like the one below:
average baby
He could grow up to be this kid so watch out,
Stoner

Okay so his parents need to feed him more and make him take naps, but you get the idea.

Then see my baby again:

my baby is cuter

Here’s another Yada-yada to borderline unnatractive baby:

dressed up baby

Here is Mine again:

baby 2

Now for you darwinists out there, help me understand. Why can’t all babies make you say Awwww? Why would humans not have evolved to make all babies beautiful? After all, the parents have to have a reason to keep the baby and take care of it.

We need to see that baby and think, “This thing is too cute. I had better feed it so that it won’t make that ugly crying face again.” or, “This thing stinks. If it wasn’t so cute, I would leave it on the side of the road. Oh well, I gues I should change it.”

I think it is just one more proof that there is a God. Otherwise why would we have this innate connection and love for these critters. No matter how ugly the baby, their mommy loves them.

If it weren’t for that innate love, how would these two have made it past childhood? God is one funny dude.

Ewwgly dudes

To wash that image out of your mind here are some more pictures of my baby:

baby9

She was sleepy in that one. The next one is the happiest pic I have of her.

baby1

So now that my evidence is on the table, I am leaving the floor open to you.

Do you think your baby is cute? Then prove it.

Put a link to your baby’s picture in the comments section of the CUTER BABY CHALLENGE section and I will post you baby’s picture on the site. Then I will pull up my random baby picture generator and post the picture that comes up next to your kid. We will then decide if your baby is indeed cuter.

Let me clarify, this is not a contest to see if your baby is cuter than mine because that would be unfair to all babies. This is basically a challenge to prove that your baby is cuter than most.

Is your baby cuter?

2/12/08

Our first brave soul has stepped forward. Troutbum has submitted pictures of Baby Trout. Here is one without his ugly mug in the way. So is Baby Trout cuter?

Baby Trout

Wow a good showing for Baby Trout. Lets plug in the random baby photo generator and see . . . .

Crosseyed baby

Whew! Baby Trout wins by a mile! Way to go, Trout I don’t know how that kid came from you.

Any more takers?

Take the Cuter Baby Challenge HERE. All further entries will be posted there.

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Feeling Nostalgic. Old Cartoons

Feeling Nostalgic?

No?

Want to?

I was over on Aintitcool today and Harry Knowles waxed nostalgic about old cartoons he found on the web. I thought why not? In fact I decided to find the ones that piqued my interest and burn them to a DVD for my kids. Why? Because I can. And it’s free.

There is a site called KeepVid that lets you download Youtube clips. I already made a few DVD compilations of old obscure MST3K and Rifftrax clips. It works pretty well. You just save them into a folder and then use a program like DVDflick convert them to files playable by your DVD player and burn them to a blank DVD.

Anyway, here are the cartoons that I chose for my kids. Now I skipped many of the obvious ones because we already own them. I bought several collections of Disney’s Silly Symphony cartoons for instance. This is rare public domain stuff. It’s pretty edgy for its time.

Swing You Sinners

Stratos Fear

Balloonland

The Haunted Ship

Wot a Night (1931)

Ants in the Plants

Candy Town (1931)

The Snow Man
(This’ll give the kids nightmares, but *insert evil laugh here*)

The Cat Came Back
Not an old one, but a hilarious one.

I finish out the DVD with some more modern computer-generated cartoon clips.

Hilarious commercial

Jurrasic Fart

Gummy Bear Song

And Finally, some test clips for Flushed Away.

Slug Song 1

Slug Song2

Slug Song 3

Fargin weather

Roman Moronie wants you to know.

driveway in Idaho

I thought I would pitch in with a, “Heck yeah it is.” Above you can see the view from my garage. This is just before I shoveled for the 150th time this winter.

It started snowing two weeks before Christmas and even though it doesn’t snow every day, it hasn’t melted. It just accumulates. The piles of snow grow higher and higher.

I’m six-foot-three tall, dark, and handsome. Yet still the snow drift is up to my midriff. My son is half my height and as you can see, the piles of snow on either side of the driveway reach over his head.

cold-one-w-sonl.jpg

I spent most of my childhood in Bountiful Utah. We got a lot of snow up there every winter. I remember the piles of snow getting huge when I was a kid. Well this year in Idaho we are getting as much snow as I have ever seen. Look at my front porch.

cold-4-porch.jpg

The big difference between living in Utah and living here though is the roads. In Utah, the plows run all the time when it is snowing. They would put stuff down on the streets to keep it from icing too. And it didn’t matter where you lived. If you were in the city or the suburbs, they kept the roads clear.

Well check out my street.

cold-3-sidewalk.jpg

Here in Idaho they try to keep the main roads plowed, but the side streets are mostly ignored. If we are lucky, they plow through once a week or so. The only reason we can get out of our neighborhoods is that the snow in the streets is packed down by the tires of people’s cars as they come and go.

If it starts to warm up a little in the day, the top layers of snow turn to slush. Then the slush freezes overnight. The end result is that from the first winter snow until everything melts in the spring, the side roads are covered in a solid pack of ice and snow.

So to those folks living in sunny Florida, we in Idaho send you a hearty SCREW YOU. You can return the favor to us during hurricane season this summer.

With love,

Edgewriter.

Even though this did not happen in Idaho, you get the idea.

Oh and don’t forget. It’s COMING.

UPDATE 2/6/08

I woke up this morning to a FOOT of snow on the driveway. That happened overnight. SO I was up early shoveling more snow than I have in my life.

The Hobbiton Follies

Real estate values in Hobbiton through the roof right now

The long awaited LOTR Blooper reel was just released.

Hilarious. I love Rudy’s bit at the end.

For those of you not in the loop, Peter Jackson and New Line Cinema finally settled the dissagreements they had over the revenues from the Lord of the Rings trilogy out of court and Peter is taking on The Hobbit. Unfortunately it took so long to settle things that Peter has already filled his plate with other projects and has decided not to direct the Hobbit himself. Instead it looks like the one filling those furry feet will be Guillermo Del Toro.

Guillermo Del Toro

Del Toro looks quite Hobbity himself, which is a prerequisite for the job. You can’t fault his movie credentials either. His resume is uncannily similar to Peter Jackson’s resume prior to directing the LOTR films. He has done horror films like Cronos and Mimic and Blade 2 before branching out to acclaim with Pan’s Labyrinth.

Actually with those films, his style is very mich like Jackson’s own. He has a knack for action, a steady hand with the camera, and an exuberant geekiness which bolsters his qualifications. Peter has also stated that he will be heavily involved. The original designers and crew are coming back as well as WETA. So it sounds like the transition could be pretty seamless.

The plan is for two films to be made. The first one being a direct adaptation of the Hobbit, with the second film focusing mainly on the period of time between the Hobbit and the Lord of the rings. This gives plenty of opportunity for most of the original LOTR cast to make appearances.

The Silmarillion

Tolkein kept detailed notes and writings of the history of Middle Earth including the time period between The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings. Some of it was published in The Silmarillion and other works. The Tolkein family holds the rights to the rest of it. It will be very interesting to see what Peter and Guillermo do to fill in that gap. I wonder how much will be original Tolkein story and how much will be created by the writers of the film?

Hopefully Phillipa Boyens and Fran Walsch will be back as the writers on the new films. It should be fun to find out to say the least and it is hard for me to imagine Peter and Guillermo falling on their collective faces with so much at risk.

Alas we probably won’t know more until after the writer’s strike is over. Here’s hoping that they settle things soon so that we as the consumers can get on with our entertainment. I am tired of reality shows and reruns.

Peter and his Hobbit hole

At any rate, what with all the excitement over The Hobbit finally getting underway, I thought I would do a short Lord of the Rings tribute.

I read the books a long time ago and re-read them as the films came out. I adore the movies. They are my favorite films of all time. My wife and I eargerly awaited each one as they came out. We bought both theatrical and Extended editions. We watched all the hours of special features on each disk until we felt so intimate with the movies it was like we had a part in creating them ourselves.

So to celebrate the best movies ever, how about lampooning them? I’ll start with the Rifftrax version of Fellowship because of my Rifftrax obsession. First you will see the trailer, followed by some clips of the riffed version. I truly enjoyed watching the film with Mike and Kevin’s commentary. They are big fans of the films as well so the commentary never offends. It was a fun way to see it again.

Here is a hilarious video retelling the romance of the Lord of the Rings trilogy with a different perspective:

The lord of the Rings A-team:

I saw this a while ago. It still cracks me up:

I almost didn’t include this one but I had to just for Aragorn’s entrance:

I’ll end with a music video montage that makes me want to watch the films all over again right now:

Have a dollop of Mayo. Yum!

Ohhhhh Baby

Recently it has come to my attention that there are a group of people out there that abstain from using any condiments on their food. I don’t know the reason why, but the only thing that makes sense to me is that they are in some kind of new religion. Some religion that has added a new commandment.

It probably goes something like:
#11 Thou shalt not put the ketchup on thy burger, neither the mustard on thy hot dog. Thy tuna shall be dry and free of any mayo, nor shalt though put the barbecue sauce on thy ribs.

Ugh. Not a religion I could get into, I’ll tell you that. Unless the religion was just against British condiments. Not so big on the Mint Sauce and Marmite myself.

Weird

As I type this, I am eating a salami and cheese sandwich slathered with mayo and yellow mustard. You know the reason this is good is the mayo and mustard. You could substitute almost any bread, meat, or cheese and as long as it had the mayo and yellow mustard, it would still be just as good.

Because I am so passionate about the subject of condiments, It is probably wise that I stick with one today. So I will begin with one of my favorites:

Mayo!!!

Now the video above made one big mistake. Hellmann’s Mayo is not the good stuff. In my humble opinion, you can tell whether the mayo in front of you is going to be good or gross by the color. The best mayo is bright white. It gets cheaper and grosser the yellower it gets.

That's nice

See how brightly white the mayo is on that cracker? Then see this.

eegh

It’s enough to make you hurl, ain’t it? Don’t let yourself be fooled. If it says real Mayo, make sure it isn’t yellow. Never buy mayo in a colored or covered bottle.

I know this because as a mayonnaise connoisseur, I have bought and tried many different brands of Mayo over the years. The best one I have found for reasonable prices is Kraft Real Mayonnaise.

The good stuff.

The worst looking mayo I have ever seen is below. I could never bring myself to try it. But this guy recommends it over that beautiful white mayonnaise..
Hurp!

Now try to knock that disgusting image out of your head. I know it’s hard but I’m not quite done talking about delicious creamy mayo yet, so I need you to man up. I know, let’s cleanse your mental palate with this. Envision a cool tall glass of pink lemonade.

Ahhhhhh

Now add a dollop of mayo and mix it all up!! Hah hah, just kidding. Sorry I couldn’t resist. Forget what I said, just keep that pure lemonade in your mind for a moment . . . . Feel better? Ok moving on.

Being from the south, there is one tradition in my family that no one else I have met does. In fact everyone grimaces at the idea until they try it. We put mayo in our mashed potatoes.

Mmmmm

My mom tells the story about how when she first got married she wanted so badly to impress my grandmother. My dad’s mom was a fantastic cook and liked to do everything by herself. So when my mom pleaded with grandma to let her help with dinner, grandma said “Okay you can do the mashed potatoes.” Imagine my grandma’s shock when my mom slopped a heaping helping of mayo in the taters. She ordered her out of the kitchen. My mom was devastated. She still hasn’t gotten over the humiliation to this day. She’s probably weeping about it right now. I should call her . . . .

Anyway so try mayo in your mashed taters. It is good. As kids we used to spread a thin layer of mayo on saltines. We’d dip pieces of turkey in it too. Tuna salad was a big hit. Gee I hadn’t realized until just now how much mayo I ate as a kid. How many tubs of mayo have I eaten in my lifetime?

Yup

Sheesh, this article has turned kind of sad all of the sudden. Don’t know what to do about that. Oh well, I’m off to drown my sorrow in some mashed taters. Let me leave you with this.

The Gaki No Tsukai Mayonnaise tasting game.
They taste some Mayo blindfolded, then have to figure out which brand they had been given out of 12 varieties. If they are wrong, they get a beating.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Update: I neglected to mention Miraclewhip.

Eww, miracle whip

So, salad dressing VS mayo. First of all, who would spread miracle whip all over their salad?

Eww.

Thank you.

Regarding the Booty . . .

“Booty” has an interesting history in my life. It wasn’t a slang term for me until my senior year in high school. My parents moved us from Salt Lake City Utah to Detroit Michigan. In my new high school, the word booty was rampant.

The real thing yo
There were several meanings to the word.

There was the sexual context, as in: “Gotta get me some booty tonight.”
The pirate context: “Get offa me booty, ye scalywag!”
The anatomical context: “Look at the booty on that!”
Or to represent the whole body: “Woa, that dude got his booty kicked big time.”

We mainly used last two contexts for the word. I was most likely the one that brought it into our home. The kids all thought it was hilarious. “Don’t make me kick your booty!” or “Your booty stinks.” were common usages. My parents frowned at the word at first, then once they understood it was relatively harmless and that it wasn’t going away, they grudgingly accepted it. My mom will still to this day even use the word, though I can’t recall my dad ever uttering it.

If only I had thought of it first.

Even though my loquacious nature caused me to move on to other terms such as patootie, or (thanks to MST3K) Hinder, or simply “A”, the word never left our family lexicon. I even gave my younger brother the nickname “Booty” because of his lack of one. in Fact we joked that he had more of a dimple than a booty.

Well, now I am married with four kids and they have chosed to take booty into their own limited vocabularies. Again, this is my fault because I probably threatened to spank their booties a time or two.

The booty lives on

Well what spawned this article is that my three year old has recently decided that booty is his favorite word. Every thing is booty. Booty rules all. He falls down on purpose just so that he can say “Ow, my booty!” He even adds potty talk into it while taunting his older siblings. “Hah! you poop on you booty!”, “You pee you booty!”, or “Hah ha, you poo booty stink booty smelly pee booty!”

Mrs. Edge looks at me dumbfounded as I can’t help but laugh despite myself. I know it’s my fault. I brought booty into this new generation. It amuses me. Am I a bad person?