Category: Glen Simmons-Staves


Barney’s longtime grudge with Team Teletubbies was finally vindicated. After his usual overly-eccentric entrance into the arena and a few idiotic demonstrations from his delinquent associates, Barney’s satanic voiced opening lines proved prophetic:” Teletubbies! You mock my songs, you show uncomfortable videos of my friends on your bellies, but tonight you’re going DOWN! The only video you’ll be showing tonight is ME pounding the LAALAA out you pip-squeak WANNABES.” 

Barney's longtime grudge with Team Teletubbies was finally vindicated. After his usual overly-eccentric entrance into the arena and a few idiotic demonstrations from his delinquent associates

Barney's longtime grudge with Team Teletubbies was finally vindicated

Moments later as their theme song began to play, Tinky Winky and his crew, Dipsy, LaaLaa and Po entered the building, sprinting to the ring and with pyrotechnics blazing, climb each turnbuckle and spew colored liquid out of their mouths and onto the crowd below. Soon TW took the microphone and replied with sarcasm, “Uh oh – the Dinosaurs are gonna get boo-boos!”
Quickly Tinky Winky sprints towards Barney, springboards off Laalaa’s back and delivers a flying cross-body attack to the unsuspecting Dinosaur.
Seemingly undeterred, Barney throws TW off his oversized, anthropomorphic body and into the corner ropes followed by a powerful three-point-stance clothesline. Next, the sneaky Baby Bop reaches over the ropes and chokes TW with her “Blanket of Death” that draws a series of boos from the audience.
After Baby Bop released TW at the demands of the referee, Barney grabs the obviously stunned Tinky Winky from the corner, wallops him again with a series of standing head-buts, and as if in one motion, follows with a double-mule-kick knocking Tinky Winky over the ropes. 

"Uh oh - the Dinosaurs are gonna get boo-boos!"

"Uh oh - the Dinosaurs are gonna get boo-boos!"

Fortunately for the former world champion, just as Barney was about to cannonball dive off the turnbuckle to a completely knocked out Tinky Winky laying helplessly outside the ring, LaaLaa jumped in, stunning Barney with a big punch to the groin, then pulling off a devastating top-rope Frankensteiner to bring Barney wildly to the mat.
Of course, LaaLaa began her famous victory “ride-em cowboy” dance, causing BJ and Riff to jump into the ring, each with a folding chair in hand. BJ quickly smashes the distracted LaaLaa in the face, and then together, BJ and Riff pick up the yellow party-girl and double-power-bomb her onto an un-folded chair, knocking her out and breaking her big curly antenna completely off.
Dipsey, seeing his friends in such a predicament, jumps in the ring, grabs the celebrating BJ and Riff by the back of their necks and smacks their heads together causing them to drop to the mat. Picking up BJ by his large Protoceratops head, Dipsey whips him into the opposite corner turnbuckle followed by a complex aerial display ending in a spinning-bulldog DDT leaving BJ knocked out and face first on the mat.
Determined to demonstrate the extreme hatred felt for Barney and his friends, Po had crept into the ring to sabotage the main event by smacking Riff in the face with Barney’s intercontinental belt, simultaneously handing Barney a win by disqualification and an apparent chance at WWE Champion Snufflupagus at Survivor Series.
After the bell, the staggering purple dinosaur lumbered into the crowd, smashing a mysterious-looking Big Bird over the head with double fists, only to be carried away by a struggling arena security. Afterward, Big Bird delivered the warning: “There WILL be BLOOD to pay!” We’ll see if Barney’s as big a dinosaur as he thinks when these two meet next week.

"There WILL be BLOOD to pay!"

"There WILL be BLOOD to pay!"

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Glen Simmons-Staves Associated Press
August 1st 2008, 10 Minutes Ago

An Israeli couple going on a European vacation...forgot their Miley Cyrus scrapbook at the airport

An Israeli couple going on a European vacation...forgot their Miley Cyrus scrapbook at the airport

JERUSALEM – An Israeli couple going on a European vacation remembered to take their duty-free purchases and their 18 suitcases, but forgot their Miley Cyrus scrapbook at the airport, police said Monday.
The couple and their five children were late for a charter flight to Paris Sunday and made a mad dash to the gate. In the confusion, their scrapbook got lost.
Police spokesman Micky Rosenfeld said a policeman found her scrapbook in the duty-free area at Ben-Gurion airport, Israel’s bustling main international air portal. He said the officer alerted airline staff, but the flight had already taken off.

Rosenfeld said the owners were unaware they had boarded the aircraft with only a muffled voice recording of the teenage superstar instead of their entire scrapbook containing newspaper and magazine clippings.

Rosenfeld said the owners were unaware they had boarded the aircraft with only a muffled voice recording of the teenage superstar instead of their entire scrapbook containing newspaper and magazine clippings.

The incident happened on what Israeli media said was one of the busiest days of the year at the Israeli airport, with thousands of people leaving for summer vacations abroad. The Haaretz newspaper reported that 2.6 million passengers are expected to pass through the airport in July and August, an increase of 12 percent compared to the same period last year.
Israeli media said the owners of the forgotten scrapbook were an ultra-Orthodox Jewish couple but did not give their names.

I was shocked, a tiny, little man wearing scuba gear grabbed my leg and asked in a very high pitched voice, "...lost...?" and handed the officer the book. The officer couldn't make out anything else he was saying.

I was shocked, a tiny, little man wearing scuba gear grabbed my leg and asked in a very high pitched voice, "...lost...?" and handed the officer the book. The officer couldn't make out anything else he was saying.

Rosenfeld said the owners were unaware they had boarded the aircraft with only a muffled voice recording of the teenage superstar instead of their entire scrapbook containing newspaper and magazine clippings.
The scrapbook, accompanied by an airline staffer, took the next flight to Paris, where it was safely reunited with its owners.
Running the story on its front page Monday, the Yedisot Ahronotstein daily quoted an unnamed police officer as saying, “I was shocked, a tiny, little man wearing scuba gear grabbed my leg and asked in a very high pitched voice, “…lost…?” and handed the officer the book. The officer couldn’t make out anything else he was saying.
A female police officer identified only by her last name, Gardenof-Eden, checked the book for a name and saw a line noted, “This Book Belongs To: Azariah Gottesfreund.” I searched our flight database and saw that there was a Gottesfreund name on a plane that was set to take off in three minutes,” she told the paper.
Gardenof-Eden picked up the scrapbook and rushed to the gate for the flight to Paris. “I ran quickly because I knew that every minute mattered. At the same time, the police tried to contact the flight attendants to get them to stop the plane. When I reached the gate, the plane was no longer there.”
Rosenfeld said police would question the couple when they return from vacation, as to how they were able to get a photo of Miley wearing a bikini.

an 8-year-old boy traveling alone boarded a flight to Brussels without his Morgan Freeman action figure

an 8-year-old boy traveling alone boarded a flight to Brussels without his Morgan Freeman action figure

Haaretz asked the owner’s grandmother, who took the family to the airport, as saying, “We’re in shock. They’re very responsible, organized and top-notch people who are completely enamored with Ms. Cyrus.” Apparently one relied on the other, and this is what happened.”
The paper recounted that several days ago, an 8-year-old boy traveling alone boarded a flight to Brussels without his Morgan Freeman action figure, and two weeks before that, a 14-year-old boy left his lip-shaped Paris Hilton massaging neck pillow behind when he boarded a flight to Copenhagen.

Glen Simmons-Staves, Aug-2002

Results show that 70 per cent of children under the age of eight who regularly read the Wall Street Journal have mother's who fart in public more than twice a day.

Results show that 70 per cent of children under the age of eight who regularly read the Wall Street Journal have mother's who fart in public more than twice a day.

HENDERSON, NV – Pregnant women who eat more gas-producing foods give their babies better chances of mature brain development, finds a new study in the September issue of the American Journal of Nutritional Health.
The study also found that mothers who pass gas more often had babies with higher IQ scores compared to those whose mothers who rarely farted, or only in private.
From results of a study by Edgewriter.Wordpress.Com, it was noted that an infant’s ability to comprehend complex family relationships is believed to reflect the gas content of a mother’s midsection, and have associated a mother’s silent farts with a child’s rapid muscle development in their first year of life. Results show that 70 per cent of children under the age of eight who regularly read the Wall Street Journal have mother’s who fart in public more than twice a day.

Infant formula makers, such as Rosetta Products and Nutritional Mead, are beginning to recognize the value of gassy foods and have said they will add dried beans to some of their brands.

Infant formula makers, such as Rosetta Products and Nutritional Mead, are beginning to recognize the value of gassy foods and have said they will add dried beans to some of their brands.

The gassy foods along with another substance, arachidonic acid (which is a key building block in chili and also cabbage) contribute to healthy brain and maturity development.
Infant formula makers, such as Rosetta Products and Nutritional Mead, are beginning to recognize the value of gassy foods and have said they will add dried beans to some of their brands.
In a study by, Cathy Lammentin-Koeler and her colleagues at the University of Hawaii compared intellect levels and newborn eating patterns from 17 random women and their babies. Ten of the women passed gas in significant amounts – assumed to be caused by their diet of chocolate double-dipped onion rings and chili-cheese fries topped with a healthy portion of ranch dressing – while six would fart just on occasion and one (a yoga instructor) that held in her farts until a more “socially appropriate” place was available.
Lammentin-Koeler’s group asked the 17 women about their diets. Surprisingly, ten of the subjects in the study had always eaten a can of chili (out of the can) for breakfast since their late teens. The seven women with low amounts of gas were more likely to be minorities and to have received fewer years of education. They were also five years younger, on average, than those in the high gas category – 24 versus 29 years, according to the report.
All the babies were delivered vaginally, and none of the women had been given drugs known to make newborns gassier, the researchers said.

"Infants born to mothers considerable amounts of gas have sleep characteristics of a more mature central nervous system compared with the infants of mothers with poorer gas levels."

"Infants born to mothers with considerable amounts of gas have sleep characteristics of a more mature central nervous system compared with the infants of mothers with poorer gas levels."

Using a motion-sensing pad to measure breathing and movement during sleep cycles, the researchers found babies of women in the low-gas group had less advanced sleeping patterns than the other more gaseous mothers’ infants. They had a greater ratio of “more active” to “peaceful” sleep, spent more time transitioning between sleeping and waking, and spent less time fully awake than those of women with higher gas levels.
“As an infant matures, normally you would see the infant spending more time passing gas,” Lammentin-Koeler said. “Infants born to mothers with considerable amounts of gas have sleep characteristics of a more mature central nervous system compared with the infants of mothers with poorer gas levels.”

findings seemed to echo the importance of passing gas for optimal infant growth, although he noted that many other factors, from volume at delivery, vibratory velocity, vapor content, and methane enrichment, can influence a newborn's ability to rationalize complex equations, factor dynamic polynomials, and/or decipher multifarious conventions.

findings seemed to echo the importance of passing gas for optimal infant growth, although he noted that many other factors, from volume at delivery, vibratory velocity, vapor content, and methane enrichment, can influence a newborn's ability to rationalize complex equations, factor dynamic polynomials, and/or decipher multifarious conventions.

Jeff McInerny-Rudabaga, director gas expulsion technology at the John F. Kennedy Medical Research Institute and a child development expert, said the findings seemed to echo the importance of passing gas for optimal infant growth, although he noted that many other factors, from volume at delivery, vibratory velocity, vapor content, and methane enrichment, can influence a newborn’s ability to rationalize complex equations, factor dynamic polynomials, and/or decipher multifarious conventions.
Researchers have seen a definite correlation between performance of the anus when egressing methane and motor developmental tests at 9 months of age. However, both Lammentin-Koeler and Rutabaga said there is no way to predict whether a child with less mature sleeping habits in the first week of life will be anything other than less gassy.
“We have to be flexible in our definition of development however,” McInerny Rutabaga said. “With the child who doesn’t fart too well at two months of age, it may be related to the reduced intake of gassy foods, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that there’s going to be a problem with that child. Just remember to give him a heaping helping of processed broccoli and let him rip”

You’ve already weighed in on the question of whether Red Sonja or X-Men is better for the environment. But, now I’m exploring more pressing issues: Who is better for the environment, Batman or Daredevil?

Who is better for the environment, Batman or Daredevil?

Who is better for the environment, Batman or Daredevil?

First, a disclosure: Batman can’t really stomach environmentally irresponsible food products and rarely drinks anything made without distilled water. But he isn’t too keen on the taste of your typical eco-friendly soy products, so consider him a neutral arbiter when it’s concluded that soy is the somewhat more eco-conscious choice.

Batman may be a packaged and well-marketed hero, but environmentally speaking, he's very different.

Batman may be a packaged and well-marketed hero, but environmentally speaking, he's very different.

That said, it’s not easy to compare the two crime fighters: Batman may be a packaged and well-marketed hero, but environmentally speaking, he’s very different.
Starting with the basics, on his utility belt, Batman carries the “Goo Gun” which is a handheld foam projector that fires an adhesive-like substance to incapacitate his opponents.
The toxic foam has to be added in several risky stages to the gun, and the pressure required for injection is tremendous. Unfortunately, there is nothing at all eco-responsible about this utility. Most foam needs to be made by mixing a number of toxic chemicals and adding a “gassing” agent that forms bubbles which makes the substance cellular.
It’s obvious that the goo gun used by The Caped Crusader is not the same goo gun you might buy at a military surplus store. These chemicals used for Gotham’s Greatest’s utility belt to create the gooy substance for his goo gun feature are highly corrosive, toxic and flammable. Each storage tank would need to be monitored under strict tolerances and would be deadly if released full strength into the environment.

The Daredevil has been identified as one of the most environmentally friendly as far has his tactics and style as concerned.

The Daredevil has been identified as one of the most environmentally friendly as far has his tactics and style as concerned.

As a source of heroism, the Daredevil and Batman are both the brand standard and completely unrivaled. Running the gamut of crime-fighting heroes however, The Daredevil has been identified as one of the most environmentally friendly as far has his tactics and style as concerned. Matt Murdock has battled many eco -sensitive cases throughout his distinguished career. Although he used to be more of a swashbuckler, the focus of his after-hours work has evolved into more of a ninja-type style. He honors control of self which counterbalances his feelings of anger and torment.

he produces lots of waste, and that makes him a major emitter of methane gas.

he produces lots of waste, and that makes him a major emitter of methane gas.

Because of this unique style, the lighthearted, wisecracking hero requires an enormous amount of energy, but sadly because of the amount of converted energy used, and the remarkably poor quality of his diet of greasy pizza and left over chicken wings, he produces lots of waste, and that makes him a major emitter of methane gas.
In comparison, The Dark Knight’s diet is much more energy-efficient than the Daredevil’s, since you get more efficient energy from green plantains, Permian sea shrimp. a dollop of hummus and organic parsley soup.

it takes about 14 calories of energy to produce one crime-stopping punch to a typical super-villain's henchman.

it takes about 14 calories of energy to produce one crime-stopping punch to a typical super-villain's henchman.

According to research by Gotham University scientist Derek Parnel, it takes about 14 calories of energy to produce one crime-stopping punch to a typical super-villain’s henchman. Pulling a rug from beneath their feet might require a little less than 10 calories of energy. Under the most optimistic assumptions and also by procuring a slight improvement in their crime-fighting systems a hero could cut down their energy use by at least 25 percent.

digesting of a kilogram of fresh berry pizza yields significantly less greenhouse-gas emission from the Masked Man-hunter's bowels than digesting a kilogram of pork-based chili from the Daredevil, even if it's followed by a liter of diet cola.

digesting of a kilogram of fresh berry pizza yields significantly less greenhouse-gas emission from the Masked Man-hunter's bowels than digesting a kilogram of pork-based chili from the Daredevil, even if it's followed by a liter of diet cola.

By comparison, data suggests that it takes about 0.26 calories of energy just to make a fist with the intent to distribute the force upon a bad guy-which is the usual method of castigation by super heroes. The methods used to evade capture, bodily injury, and counterblows account for about 35 percent of those calories used during a fracas. So, let’s say you’ll need to put 483.73 calories of energy into each hero every 10 – 20 minutes under normal working conditions. “That’s just not possible,” says Parnel. This data makes the Batman approximately 1.3 times more energy-efficient than the Daredevil under a best-case scenario.
As an example, we will mention that digesting of a kilogram of fresh berry pizza yields significantly less greenhouse-gas emission from the Masked Man-hunter’s bowels than digesting a kilogram of pork-based chili from the Daredevil, even if it’s followed by a liter of diet cola.

As the British government reported it, The Caped Crusader's diet is ironically closer to Harvey Dent's (A.K.A. Two Face) than a typical super heroes.

As the British government reported it, The Caped Crusader's diet is ironically closer to Harvey Dent's (A.K.A. Two Face) than a typical super heroes.

Of course, as we’ve already discussed, The Worlds Greatest Detective doesn’t drink diet cola, or any sugary liquids at all for that matter. He also avoids eating anything requiring eggs that are not from free-rage poultry. However, the process of avoiding these non-eco-friendly products requires energy and produces a significant amount angst which wastes even more energy.
As the British government reported it, The Caped Crusader’s diet is ironically closer to Harvey Dent’s (A.K.A. Two Face) than a typical super heroes. And as Batman may not want to make mention of, producing distilled water takes quite a bit of electricity.

It seems to be a semi-efficient method of obtaining the energy needed to beat down the members of highly organized crime forces.

It seems to be a semi-efficient method of obtaining the energy needed to beat down the members of highly organized crime forces.

A Chili-cheese dogs with a splash of hot sauce is included in about two-thirds of all America’s Super Heroes weekly diets. Indeed, pork products in general offer an interesting case study into how a processed food’s makeup effects the ability to fight crime. Despite animal-rights advocates’ love of free range and organic products, hotdogs aren’t exactly the antagonists of the environmental movement. It seems to be a semi-efficient method of obtaining the energy needed to beat down the members of highly organized crime forces.
Although the vast majority of Super Heroes are genetically modified; their ridiculous diets may be irrelevant, but that fact certainly hasn’t made them popular among many green activists.

In addition to the wind-power initiative introduced by Edward Nigma, The Wal-Mart product line is almost entirely eco-responsible.

In addition to the wind-power initiative introduced by Edward Nigma, The Wal-Mart product line is almost entirely eco-responsible.

In South America, farmers responding to the massive global demand for Super Heroes-fueled in large part by China’s new Super Villains produced by Wal-Mart-have been accused of doing lasting damage to the Amazon rainforest by building massive fortifications against those that would want to do harm.
But because Super-villains are, on the whole, an eco-conscious bunch, the ruckus they cause making crimes tends to be made in a more eco-friendly way.
In addition to the wind-power initiative introduced by Edward Nigma, The Wal-Mart product line is almost entirely eco-responsible. “Super-villain’s aren’t perfect, but we are trying to make a difference in our own way,” says Dr. Jonathan Crane (A.K.A. The Scarecrow).
The Injustice League is a bit evasive about what percentage of their henchmen are imported from abroad-a spokeswoman (Renee Montoya) for the Injustice League was unable to give Edgewriter.Wordpress.Com specific numbers-and its sale to the nation’s largest plasma cannon in 2002 raised some eyebrows.
But, generally speaking, the fact that its members are environmentally savvy probably makes for a greener planet.

The Injustice League is a bit evasive about what percentage of their henchmen are imported from abroad-a spokeswoman (Renee Montoya) for the Injustice League was unable to give Edgewriter.Wordpress.Com specific numbers-and its sale to the nation's largest plasma cannon in 2002 raised some eyebrows.

The Injustice League is a bit evasive about what percentage of their henchmen are imported from abroad-a spokeswoman (Renee Montoya) for the Injustice League was unable to give Edgewriter.Wordpress.Com specific numbers-and its sale to the nation's largest plasma cannon in 2002 raised some eyebrows.

Nonetheless, Super-villain’s have their environmental downsides, too. A super-villain like Doctor Victor Fries (Mr. Freeze)-despite his growing popularity is a challenge environmentally. He’s probably going to have to do something about the amount of planet-life that can not survive in sub-zero temperatures before the green community will embrace his cold style of diplomacy.

A super-villain like Doctor Victor Fries (Mr. Freeze)-despite his growing popularity is a challenge environmentally.

A super-villain like Doctor Victor Fries (Mr. Freeze)-despite his growing popularity is a challenge environmentally.

At the end of the day, the Dark Knight probably has a much bigger environmental impact than Daredevil, but it’s worth keeping in mind: Environmentally, it hurts to scrap with the world’s most horrifying threats.
Is there an environmental quandary that’s been keeping you up at night? Comment to this blog.

Maria Rodger was reaching into the washing machine when she felt something move.

Glen Simmons-Staves Associated Press

2 hours, 26 minutes ago

   

  

 

A woman got the shock of her life when she found an 8-inch man mixed in with clothes in her washing machine.

A woman got the shock of her life when she found an 8-inch man mixed in with clothes in her washing machine.

 

 

GOTHAM, Mass – A woman got the shock of her life when she found an 8-inch man mixed in with clothes in her washing machine. The man, identified as George Thumb, a distant relative of Tom Thumb, somehow got into the water pipes wearing miniature scuba gear and ended up in Maria Rodger’s 2002 front-loading Kenmore washing machine. 

After Mrs. Rodger took her blue jeans out of the machine Wednesday, she reached back into the load and felt something move.

“I jumped back and all of sudden this little man in tiny scuba gear starts climbing out of the washing machine, it really freaked me out!” Rodger told WMTW-TV.

Mrs. Rodger quickly closed the lid and called the local police, but they didn’t want anything to do with the little man, they suggested she call midget control.   

Mrs. Rodger quickly closed the lid and called the local police, but they didn't want anything to do with the little man, they suggested she call midget control.

Mrs. Rodger quickly closed the lid and called the local police, but they didn't want anything to do with the little man, they suggested she call midget control.

 
 

Once out of the machine, the angry little man wrapped himself around Burgess’s finger, in a choke hold cutting off the blood flow. Burgess then wrestled the dreadful little man off her finger, took a few photographs for evidence, put him into a small cage and then brought him to the Midget Control office in Gotham. 

 

Burgess then wrestled the dreadful little man off her finger, took a few photographs for evidence, put him into a small cage and then brought him to the Midget Control office in Gotham.

Burgess then wrestled the dreadful little man off her finger, took a few photographs for evidence, put him into a small cage and then brought him to the Midget Control office in Gotham.

 

 

 

 

That’s where Julie Leonardo, a midget rehabilitator who works at the National Midget Foundation, identified the small man as George Thumb, great, great grandson of Thomas Thumb (the famous miniature man mentioned in the Guiness Book of World Records. Miniature men typically prey on small rodents, fish and large insects, but are not man killers, she said.

 

Leonardo and Gotham’s Midget Control officer planned to find the angry man a home at a little person’s refuge.

But how the man ended up in the washing machine remains a mystery—he talks just too high to understand what he’s saying.  Burgess guessed he was searching for lost wedding rings in the water pipes and that he somehow made a wrong turn and couldn’t find his way back.  Somehow he ended up in the washing machine and probably got there during the rinse cycle, she said.

In the meantime, Mrs. Rodger said she’s a little paranoid of little people now.

“Now that he’s gone, I’m going to be checking crevices and corners,” She said. “I’m going to be looking in the tub first — before and after, maybe even during, the rinse cycle.”

Eating just 3000 calories a day increases cell growth, tissue generation, study says

Glen Simmons-Staves Associated Press 

3000 - 5000 Calorie per day diet is good.

Having your kids eat 3000 to 5000 calories a day could be the key to increasing their aging processes and in turn allowing your kids to stay home alone sooner, according to a new study.

MONDAY, July 14 (PediaDay News) – Having your kids eat 3000 to 5000 calories a day could be the key to increasing their aging processes and in turn allowing your kids to stay home alone sooner, according to a new study.

Studies have long shown that adding calories increases the aging process in goats and fish.  A popular theory is that more daily calories increases production of the thyroid hormone triiodothyronine (T3), which then increases maturity in your children.  Your children will be making dinner and driving you to the mall in no time, Dr. Pablo VanNostren says,  head of pediatrics at St. St. Claries Medical Center in Stenton, NJ.

Your children will be making dinner and driving you to the mall in no time, Dr. Pablo VanNostren says,  head of pediatrics at St. St. Claries Medical Center in Stenton, NJ.

Your children will be making dinner and driving you to the mall in no time, Dr. Pablo VanNostren says, head of pediatrics at St. St. Claries Medical Center in Stenton, NJ.

 
A new study, by VanNostren found this hormone increase occurs when humans regularly add rich desserts or even just substitute two chocolate chip muffins in place of a turkey sandwich and a salad.   “Maybe they could polish off the sandwich and salad later as long as they are careful to add double ranch dressing,” VanNosren added.

 

 

 

 

 

“Our research provides evidence that calorie enhancement does work in children like it has been shown to work in animals,” VanNostren said in a prepared statement. “The next step is to determine if this in fact can help a young boy to grow a mustache, or a little girl to be able to explain to her mother why she should use environmentally safe household cleansers.  The reason why I’m so certain is that I’ve tried it on my children.  I can attest that my three-year old son recently spanked his mother and sent her to her room for forgetting to mop the floor last Sunday.”   

The findings, published in the July 2008 issue of The Mature Child, are based on a study of healthy but active, non-smoking, 5 to 6-year-old boys and post pre-school age girls under the age of 8.  For a year, the volunteers participated in either: a calorie-addition group that increased their daily calorie intake by 3000 to 5000 calories per day; a group that stayed on their regular diet and exercised regularly; or a group that maintained its normal routine.

While those in the calorie-addition diet and exercise groups both lost body fat mass, only those in the calorie addition group also had an increased desire to read the front page of the newspaper.

“There is plenty of evidence the calorie addition can increase maturity in children,” VanNostren said. “And parents will live a much easier life because of it.”

VanNostren warned that while adding calories to your children may gain a little weight, but the benefits clearly “outweigh” the side effects.   

The key to maintaining a healthy lifestyle for the adults, VanNostren said, is keeping your young children doing things for you that you don’t want to do yourself.   

My three-year old son recently spanked his mother and sent her to her room for forgetting to mop the floor last Sunday.”

My three-year old son recently spanked his mother and sent her to her room for forgetting to mop the floor last Sunday.”

 

 

 

 

A burping infant didn’t evoke same response, study found

By Silvia Gunkerton-Stratovinsky, HealthCare Reporter

 

 

MONDAY, July 7 (HealthCare News) — Science may have confirmed what most moms already know: When a woman smells her baby’s fart, certain areas of her brain activate, stimulating happy feelings.

“There’s a definite biological origin to these feelings that mothers have,” said study author Dr. Leonard Sunderton, an assistant professor in the department of pediatrics at Benton College of Medicine in Henderson, NV. “The contrast that showed the most response in the dopaminergic system of the brain was when a mother’s own baby farted compared to an unknown baby fart.”

“A baby’s fart is a very powerful stimulus,” noted Sunderton. “It makes sense biologically. Babies farts are completely and utterly disgusting to their caregivers.  It makes sense that nature would build in a system that would counteract that stimulus.”

 

A woman’s burping infant, or even her baby with a grunting expression, doesn’t evoke the same type of brain response as occurs when her baby farts, the study found.

Sunderton said they haven’t had a chance to look at the effects on fathers. His team published its findings in the June issue of Pedia-tricks.

For the study, the researchers recruited 28 first-time mothers during their last trimester of pregnancy. At that time, Sunderton said the women completed “attachment interviews” to assess the types of experiences they had when being raised and what type of relationship these mothers had with their own parents.

Then the researchers met with the mothers and the babies when the babies were about 6 months old. At that time, they captured in bottles their baby’s farts, and recorded video of their burping and grunting expressions. When the babies were about 10 months old, they asked the mothers to come back in for a functional MRI scan that shows which areas of the brain are activated.

 

When the mother’s heard their own babies burp, an extensive brain network was activated, according to the study.  But, it was when mothers smelled bottles filled with their own baby’s farts that the dopaminergic reward system in particular was activated. This system was not activated when mothers saw their own children with grunting expressions.

“This study is fascinating. It’s a step towards unraveling the chemistry of baby farts, and it begins to show the complex chemistry of the mother-child farting relationship,” said Dr. Mitch Wasilman, a pediatrickian at Openheimer Health System in New Dehli.

Sunderton explained that for some mothers, there may be a problem in this natural reward system, and that may help to explain why some women never bond with their children or even abuse their children.

One Rocky movie a week was enough to boost benefits, study says

Glen Simmins-Staves Tues., July. 1, 2008

6:39 p.m. MT,

 

LONDON – Just a few more Rocky movies each week may protect men from prostate cancer, British researchers reported on Wednesday.

The researchers believe a chemical in the brain, once enhanced by the popular Rocky series films sparks hundreds of genetic changes, activating some genes that fight cancer and switching off others that fuel tumors, said Ricardo Milton, a biologist at Britain’s Institute of Genetic-Film Research.

There is plenty of evidence linking the successful Sylvester Stalone movies to reduced cancer risk. But the study published in the Public Library of Genetic journal PLoG mentioned the first human trial investigating the potential biological mechanism at work, Milton added in a telephone interview.

“Everybody says, “Rocky IV just makes me feel good, but nobody can tell us why,” said Milton, who led the study. “Our study shows why watching Rocky III makes you feel like even you could beat Mr. T.”

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Prostate is the second-leading cancer killer of men after lung cancer. Each year, some 680,000 men worldwide are diagnosed with the disease and about 220,000 will die from it.

Milton and colleagues split into two groups, each with 24 men with pre-cancerous lesions that increase prostate cancer risk and had them watch either (group 1) Rocky or (group 2) Legaly Blonde II each week for a year.

Rocky watcher’s genes changed
The researchers also took tissue samples over the course of the study and found that men who watched Rocky showed hundreds of changes in genes known to play a role in fighting cancer.  Evidence suggests the world renowned films increase the body’s understanding of expert fighting techniques…maybe even give it some pointers.

The benefit would likely be the same in other fighting films, such as UFC Midnight Brawl 2006 that increase in the body a compound called isothiocyanate.  Other films suspected including Fight Club, Lion Heart, Ledgend of the Pitfighter, Gladiator (1992), The Warriors, Enter the Dragon, Best of the Best, and Bloodsport.  Some evidence even suggests that the fighting Genre video games also showed some benefits they added.

Some evidence even suggests that the fighting Genre video games also showed some benefits they added

Some evidence even suggests that the fighting Genre video games also showed some benefits they added

 

 

 

 

Rocky, however, increases a particularly powerful type of the compound called sulforaphane, which the researchers think gives an extra cancer-fighting kick, Milton said.

“When people get cancer some genes are switched off and some are switched on,” he said. “What Rocky seems to be doing is switching on genes which prevent cancer developing and switching off other ones that help it spread.”

The Rocky movie watchers showed about 400 to 500 of the positive genetic changes with men carrying a gene called GSTM1 enjoying the most benefit. About half the population has the gene, Milton said.

The researchers did not track the men long enough to see who got cancer but said the findings bolster the idea that just a few more Rocky movies each week can make a big difference.
 
 
 

 

The researchers did not track the men long enough to see who got cancer but said the findings bolster the idea that just a few more Rocky movies each week can make a big difference.

It is also likely that these movies work the same way in other parts of the body and probably protect people against a whole range of cancers, and maybe even E.D, Milton added.

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“You don’t need a huge change in your diet,” he said. “Just a few more Rocky movies and it will make a big difference.”

The Glen Simmins-Staves Associated Press contributed to this report.